Daddy's Angel

A grandma/cousin sandwich on the trampoline at my parents house...Jonah on top, Brinley in the middle, Sadie on bottom, with Grandma's arm around the crazies


Yes, Sadie, like her mother, wears flip flops/sandals in the cold weather...this is at Daddy's apartment complex


At the hotel in Weiser, enjoying a snack...Sadie's hair now goes down to the middle of her back and is naturally curly on the ends...who knows where she got that from?


Daddy and Sadie at the Witch display in Gardner Village, West Jordan. And yes, I will do more than that for chocolate...


"Higher Daddy higher!"...amazingly Sadie still has her shoes on at the playground in Weiser


One of my favorite pics ever of my angel, this one now sits on my desk at work :)
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Where I Am Now, Part Two

School is going pretty well so far, albeit slow of course. We're now at midterm and have fall break this week. I have two classes, Communication and Relationships, and Family Economics. I love the first class of course since that's pretty much my major. The second one not so much. I won't say that there isn't helpful information and strategies that we learn in that class because there is. But I can't help but wonder how many of these calculations and formulas that we really need to memorize? Not because I don't see their value, but because using a program like MS Money or Quicken would calculate most of that stuff for me, so why would I need to do it manually? The class isn't hard necessarily, just seems tedious and overloading information wise sometimes. There also seems to be a lack of concrete answers, since the answer to every strategy question is "it depends on what u want". Well how the hell do I know what I want? I can't say I'll be sad when this class is over. It seems to be more suited for finance geeks which I definitely am not. After this semester, I will need 35.66 more hours (I went one term at the U before they changed to semesters) to graduate with a Bachelors of Science Degree in Interpersonal Communication. At my current rate, that would take me another two years to fulfill. If I decided to go full time, I could have it done in a year. Decisions, decisions....

Work has been pretty slow and it honestly worries me. I was originally told I'd be contract to hire after 90 days, but my 90 days came and went on September 1st and I've heard literally nothing about what will happen. I haven't heard anything that would lead me to believe that they're getting rid of me either, but there's still a lot of uncertainty there in my mind considering the state of our current economy. I really don't want to look for another job again since I loathe the job hunting process, but the longer I go without hearing anything, the more I wonder if I should start looking again. I like my current job and want to stay since I think the role fits me perfectly, but if there is no commitment there, I'm not sure what other choice I have but to look at other options. Trying to meet my current financial obligations with just unemployment is a prospect that makes me shudder to think about :( I'm really hoping Parsons comes through, but also understand that they have to do what they think is best for the company.

My baby is doing fabulous and I'm really so proud of her (pics to come). She is talking so much now that she can have pseudo conversations with me and i can understand most of what she says. She also remembers things we did such as going to the zoo or getting a toy with Grandma (nana) that we did literally weeks ago. Her aptitude and memory are simply astounding and it's made me wonder if we shouldn't have her in some kind of school right now even though it's still pretty early since she won't turn three until January. We're (and I use that term loosely since my ex does most of it) in the midst of potty training her and it's still a work in progress. These are the times that really test you as a parent :) It's really a full time job to get her in the habit of doing it and since going potty is really low on Sadie's life priority list right now (below playing, exploring, eating, watching shows, hassling the dogs, etc.) it could be a while still. She is still growing like a weed as evidenced by the fact that we've bought her new clothes twice this year already She is going to be a 50's style poodle girl (is that what they're called?) for Halloween this year.

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Now playing: Switchfoot - Something More (Augustine's Confession)
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Where I Am Now, Part One

Apparently there were still some of my friends who didn't know that I had moved yet and looking back, I realized that I had never mentioned that here. After the divorce, my sister and her husband graciously allowed me to stay at their home while everything was being finalized with the divorce, with selling my house, and with me getting back in to the job market. I was there until the end of this last June when I moved in to my own apartment in Draper. As part of the divorce plan, I also agreed to take our dog Sandy with me, while my ex has retained Milo and Maggie. So Sandy and I are attempting to co-exist while I explore what it's like to live completely on my own. Thus far it's been going pretty well, although financially it's still somewhat of a challenge. There's a lot to be said for the peace of mind that comes from achieving independence and stability on your own and it's done wonders for me mentally and emotionally.

Speaking of emotion, the official one year anniversary of my divorce came and went at the end of September. I was unsure of how I would feel and/or react on that date since I'd never really been through it before, but fortunately it ended up being just another day for the most part. I tried to go out and do stuff that day so I wouldn't think about it as much which did help. I can't say I really shed any tears over it since it's difficult to maintain feelings for someone who is willing to let you walk away and tear your family apart. I realize that it would have been difficult for both of us to maintain our desired lifestyles and that we're both probably happier this way. I guess I just always believed that a commitment like marriage would trump problems of that nature and that we could have overcome it somehow. But since that obviously isn't the case and they say that the first year following the divorce is always the hardest, then I'd say I felt relief more than anything, like I'm finally starting to feel like I can move on. I just wish that my daughter didn't have to be so far away from a part of her family that loves her in order to make that happen. Our divorce has been relatively clean in comparison to many others that I've both heard about and am familiar with from people I know, but I still can't help but wonder what affect it will have on my daughter when she's old enough to hear and understand both sides of the story.

The recent dating scene has helped me move on quite a bit. I've met a number of new cool friends/women and have thoroughly enjoyed hanging out with them. It's definitely helped take some of the sting out of dating, just being able to have a good time and not worry about what might happen so much. At this moment in time, I am not committed to exclusively date anyone. But I will say that I've gone on dates with a handful of women that are intriguing possibilities. I don't know how it will all shake out but I've enjoyed getting to know them and don't have the words to thank them for helping build my self confidence :) They are all close to my heart right now. I don't want to give specifics or name names here since they could all possibly read this and I certainly don't want to hurt any feelings, but I could be persuaded to give details in a private setting if asked :)

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Now playing: Switchfoot - Only Hope
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My Girl

Under the covers with Winnie the Pooh!?!? You're grounded young lady! :)

Dreaming of coming to see Daddy :)

Sporting Valentine's Day PJs courtesy of Gwama and "just rolled out of bed" hair

LOL what can I even say about this pic? Hopefully when she woke up, she understood the meaning of life and can explain it to Dad...

The complete princess attire...is anyone surprised that the name Sadie means "princess"?

Please refrain from pointing out the family resemblance between Sadie, Dad, and the penguin...

Also taken at the Boise Zoo, why is my child deep in thought in every picture?

On the giraffe slide at the Boise Zoo...this slide was kind of a tall order for Sadie, so she ride down on the neck of a real giraffe

At the hotel in Boise during our recent stay...that look means jumping on the bed is right around the corner.

On the upswing...

Life has definitely improved since my last post. I finally landed a contract to hire job with Parsons through Volt. Parsons is one of the top 150 private companies in the U.S. and from what I understand, I'll be on with them full time after 90 days of contracting. Check them out at www.parsons.com. I'm doing deskside computer support for them covering both Utah Offices, South Jordan and SLC, and backing up other states when the technicians for those states are out, which includes Nevada, Colorado, and Arizona. The pay rate was almost exactly what I was looking for and it's the type of work I was looking for, so in this economy I feel very blessed to have found this opportunity. I've been there two weeks so far and am really enjoying getting to know the people there, even though trying to learn everything can be overwhelming at times. Transitioning to a new job is always a pain, but so far everyone has been very helpful and there are multiple avenues of help available so it's going better than I expected. It's just nice to have some dignity and pride again and have the means to provide for my baby and have a real life again.

I'm back in school at the U and am taking supposedly "harder"upper division classes although I have to say that they're easier than what I had at SLCC last semester so far (about a month in). That is certainly not a complaint in any way, shape, or form. It's a good thing too since I was so not ready to be back in school during the summer after only a two week break. And it showed in my doing the bare minimum so far homework wise and procrastinating as much as possible. I'm only a junior now and at this point I just want to get it done, but it may be a while if I keep getting these urges to take breaks :)

I really missed my baby on Mother's Day, but know it was the right thing for her to be with Mom on that day and we really had a great Mother's Day here. It felt really good to serve my Mom, Grandma, and Sister dinner and take care of them for a day the way they take care of us all the time. I was just really full of gratitude for all of the females in my life on that day, mother and non-mother alike, even for my ex who does a fabulous job of caring for my precious angel. It was probably the best Mother's Day I've had and I hope all the females I know understand how grateful I am for you and for your support of me. I couldn't have made it through life without all of you so thank you!

Last but not least, the dating world continues to be an enigma that I have yet to solve. I will say that it has definitely taken some interesting turns, but ultimately not a ton of progress has been made towards something more permanent (yet). I have questioned whether I even want that again though and I go back and forth all the time. Sometimes it's unbearable to be alone, while other times the frustration of trying to deal with other people makes me not want to do it anymore. I really can't say I'm leaning one way or the other right now, although knowing myself like I do, chances are I won't be able to stay away from a relationship for very long. Let's just hope I can stay sane in the process...

Sadie Baby II

I couldn't resist adding the rest of these pictures...

Sadie making Daddy's shades look much better than he ever did

Sadie and cousin Brinley perfecting the art of gold digging...yea she definitely learned that from her mother :)


Can't do Disney dress up without Sadie's favorite color pink. We still have no idea where she got her natural curls from at the bottom.

Sadie with Gwama Zeen (Grandma Jolene) at Grandma's house. "Arise and walk, be healed"

Sadie Baby

Here is a collection of the latest Sadie pictures taken over the last few months...

Tackling the slide at South Towne Mall with Aunt Jen ("Den") coaxing her down, with cousin Jonah (side) and strange girl (behind) egging her on from other angles...yes she did eventually slide down on her own

Riding the Merry Go Round at South Towne Mall and enjoying it! That is significant because the other times we tried to take her on a Merry Go Round, she did not like it at all.

Sadie ready to road trip! She is multi tasking by driving a car, taking care of Mr. Purple Bear (Mom's favorite color), eating snacks, playing Disney princess dress up, and modeling Daddy's first ever attempt at Pony Tails...history in the making

Sadie and cousin Brinley (a.k.a. "The Baby") playing Disney Princess dress up together. That is licorice rope on their faces, hands, and everywhere else if you're wondering...the perfect evening gown accessory

Sadie jumping on the bed at our hotel stay in Weiser with a balloon that the nice lady gave her at the local pizza joint. At one point she lost the balloon and as it flew up to the ceiling, she implored "Wait boon!"...then later let the balloon go on purpose and waved "buhbye boon"

She is talking more than ever now and I'm continually astounded by her ability to understand what I tell her and to repeat it back to me. It makes me wonder if we shouldn't get her in to preschool soon so we don't waste her gifts. Seeing as how I've been in school for life, however, I wouldn't wish that on her just yet so we'll give her some more time to be a kid. She knows words like "airplane", "birdie", "shoe", "backpack", "bonk", "doggies", "seat", "sockies", "pants", her family's names "papa", "gwama", "den (Jen)", "dackie (Jackie)", and "donah (Jonah)", and quality ones from Mom and Dad like "be quiet", "stupid", and the worst of all "barney".

Daddy loves his baby dearly and misses her more than he can say.

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