Keeping up with the Joneses

Daddy's Angel

2009-10-12T16:49:00.005-06:00

A grandma/cousin sandwich on the trampoline at my parents house...Jonah on top, Brinley in the middle, Sadie on bottom, with Grandma's arm around the crazies

Yes, Sadie, like her mother, wears flip flops/sandals in the cold weather...this is at Daddy's apartment complex

At the hotel in Weiser, enjoying a snack...Sadie's hair now goes down to the middle of her back and is naturally curly on the ends...who knows where she got that from?

Daddy and Sadie at the Witch display in Gardner Village, West Jordan. And yes, I will do more than that for chocolate...

"Higher Daddy higher!"...amazingly Sadie still has her shoes on at the playground in Weiser

One of my favorite pics ever of my angel, this one now sits on my desk at work :)
----------------
Now playing: Tonic - If You Could Only See
via FoxyTunes

Where I Am Now, Part Two

2009-10-12T16:17:00.002-06:00

School is going pretty well so far, albeit slow of course. We're now at midterm and have fall break this week. I have two classes, Communication and Relationships, and Family Economics. I love the first class of course since that's pretty much my major. The second one not so much. I won't say that there isn't helpful information and strategies that we learn in that class because there is. But I can't help but wonder how many of these calculations and formulas that we really need to memorize? Not because I don't see their value, but because using a program like MS Money or Quicken would calculate most of that stuff for me, so why would I need to do it manually? The class isn't hard necessarily, just seems tedious and overloading information wise sometimes. There also seems to be a lack of concrete answers, since the answer to every strategy question is "it depends on what u want". Well how the hell do I know what I want? I can't say I'll be sad when this class is over. It seems to be more suited for finance geeks which I definitely am not. After this semester, I will need 35.66 more hours (I went one term at the U before they changed to semesters) to graduate with a Bachelors of Science Degree in Interpersonal Communication. At my current rate, that would take me another two years to fulfill. If I decided to go full time, I could have it done in a year. Decisions, decisions....

Work has been pretty slow and it honestly worries me. I was originally told I'd be contract to hire after 90 days, but my 90 days came and went on September 1st and I've heard literally nothing about what will happen. I haven't heard anything that would lead me to believe that they're getting rid of me either, but there's still a lot of uncertainty there in my mind considering the state of our current economy. I really don't want to look for another job again since I loathe the job hunting process, but the longer I go without hearing anything, the more I wonder if I should start looking again. I like my current job and want to stay since I think the role fits me perfectly, but if there is no commitment there, I'm not sure what other choice I have but to look at other options. Trying to meet my current financial obligations with just unemployment is a prospect that makes me shudder to think about :( I'm really hoping Parsons comes through, but also understand that they have to do what they think is best for the company.

My baby is doing fabulous and I'm really so proud of her (pics to come). She is talking so much now that she can have pseudo conversations with me and i can understand most of what she says. She also remembers things we did such as going to the zoo or getting a toy with Grandma (nana) that we did literally weeks ago. Her aptitude and memory are simply astounding and it's made me wonder if we shouldn't have her in some kind of school right now even though it's still pretty early since she won't turn three until January. We're (and I use that term loosely since my ex does most of it) in the midst of potty training her and it's still a work in progress. These are the times that really test you as a parent :) It's really a full time job to get her in the habit of doing it and since going potty is really low on Sadie's life priority list right now (below playing, exploring, eating, watching shows, hassling the dogs, etc.) it could be a while still. She is still growing like a weed as evidenced by the fact that we've bought her new clothes twice this year already She is going to be a 50's style poodle girl (is that what they're called?) for Halloween this year.

----------------
Now playing: Switchfoot - Something More (Augustine's Confession)
via FoxyTunes

Where I Am Now, Part One

2009-10-12T10:40:00.003-06:00

Apparently there were still some of my friends who didn't know that I had moved yet and looking back, I realized that I had never mentioned that here. After the divorce, my sister and her husband graciously allowed me to stay at their home while everything was being finalized with the divorce, with selling my house, and with me getting back in to the job market. I was there until the end of this last June when I moved in to my own apartment in Draper. As part of the divorce plan, I also agreed to take our dog Sandy with me, while my ex has retained Milo and Maggie. So Sandy and I are attempting to co-exist while I explore what it's like to live completely on my own. Thus far it's been going pretty well, although financially it's still somewhat of a challenge. There's a lot to be said for the peace of mind that comes from achieving independence and stability on your own and it's done wonders for me mentally and emotionally.

Speaking of emotion, the official one year anniversary of my divorce came and went at the end of September. I was unsure of how I would feel and/or react on that date since I'd never really been through it before, but fortunately it ended up being just another day for the most part. I tried to go out and do stuff that day so I wouldn't think about it as much which did help. I can't say I really shed any tears over it since it's difficult to maintain feelings for someone who is willing to let you walk away and tear your family apart. I realize that it would have been difficult for both of us to maintain our desired lifestyles and that we're both probably happier this way. I guess I just always believed that a commitment like marriage would trump problems of that nature and that we could have overcome it somehow. But since that obviously isn't the case and they say that the first year following the divorce is always the hardest, then I'd say I felt relief more than anything, like I'm finally starting to feel like I can move on. I just wish that my daughter didn't have to be so far away from a part of her family that loves her in order to make that happen. Our divorce has been relatively clean in comparison to many others that I've both heard about and am familiar with from people I know, but I still can't help but wonder what affect it will have on my daughter when she's old enough to hear and understand both sides of the story.

The recent dating scene has helped me move on quite a bit. I've met a number of new cool friends/women and have thoroughly enjoyed hanging out with them. It's definitely helped take some of the sting out of dating, just being able to have a good time and not worry about what might happen so much. At this moment in time, I am not committed to exclusively date anyone. But I will say that I've gone on dates with a handful of women that are intriguing possibilities. I don't know how it will all shake out but I've enjoyed getting to know them and don't have the words to thank them for helping build my self confidence :) They are all close to my heart right now. I don't want to give specifics or name names here since they could all possibly read this and I certainly don't want to hurt any feelings, but I could be persuaded to give details in a private setting if asked :)

----------------
Now playing: Switchfoot - Only Hope
via FoxyTunes

My Girl

2009-06-13T15:03:00.005-06:00

Under the covers with Winnie the Pooh!?!? You're grounded young lady! :)

Dreaming of coming to see Daddy :)

Sporting Valentine's Day PJs courtesy of Gwama and "just rolled out of bed" hair

LOL what can I even say about this pic? Hopefully when she woke up, she understood the meaning of life and can explain it to Dad...

The complete princess attire...is anyone surprised that the name Sadie means "princess"?

Please refrain from pointing out the family resemblance between Sadie, Dad, and the penguin...

Also taken at the Boise Zoo, why is my child deep in thought in every picture?

On the giraffe slide at the Boise Zoo...this slide was kind of a tall order for Sadie, so she ride down on the neck of a real giraffe

At the hotel in Boise during our recent stay...that look means jumping on the bed is right around the corner.

On the upswing...

2009-06-13T13:35:00.003-06:00

Life has definitely improved since my last post. I finally landed a contract to hire job with Parsons through Volt. Parsons is one of the top 150 private companies in the U.S. and from what I understand, I'll be on with them full time after 90 days of contracting. Check them out at www.parsons.com. I'm doing deskside computer support for them covering both Utah Offices, South Jordan and SLC, and backing up other states when the technicians for those states are out, which includes Nevada, Colorado, and Arizona. The pay rate was almost exactly what I was looking for and it's the type of work I was looking for, so in this economy I feel very blessed to have found this opportunity. I've been there two weeks so far and am really enjoying getting to know the people there, even though trying to learn everything can be overwhelming at times. Transitioning to a new job is always a pain, but so far everyone has been very helpful and there are multiple avenues of help available so it's going better than I expected. It's just nice to have some dignity and pride again and have the means to provide for my baby and have a real life again.

I'm back in school at the U and am taking supposedly "harder"upper division classes although I have to say that they're easier than what I had at SLCC last semester so far (about a month in). That is certainly not a complaint in any way, shape, or form. It's a good thing too since I was so not ready to be back in school during the summer after only a two week break. And it showed in my doing the bare minimum so far homework wise and procrastinating as much as possible. I'm only a junior now and at this point I just want to get it done, but it may be a while if I keep getting these urges to take breaks :)

I really missed my baby on Mother's Day, but know it was the right thing for her to be with Mom on that day and we really had a great Mother's Day here. It felt really good to serve my Mom, Grandma, and Sister dinner and take care of them for a day the way they take care of us all the time. I was just really full of gratitude for all of the females in my life on that day, mother and non-mother alike, even for my ex who does a fabulous job of caring for my precious angel. It was probably the best Mother's Day I've had and I hope all the females I know understand how grateful I am for you and for your support of me. I couldn't have made it through life without all of you so thank you!

Last but not least, the dating world continues to be an enigma that I have yet to solve. I will say that it has definitely taken some interesting turns, but ultimately not a ton of progress has been made towards something more permanent (yet). I have questioned whether I even want that again though and I go back and forth all the time. Sometimes it's unbearable to be alone, while other times the frustration of trying to deal with other people makes me not want to do it anymore. I really can't say I'm leaning one way or the other right now, although knowing myself like I do, chances are I won't be able to stay away from a relationship for very long. Let's just hope I can stay sane in the process...

Sadie Baby II

2009-04-29T08:25:00.003-06:00

I couldn't resist adding the rest of these pictures...

Sadie making Daddy's shades look much better than he ever did

Sadie and cousin Brinley perfecting the art of gold digging...yea she definitely learned that from her mother :)

Can't do Disney dress up without Sadie's favorite color pink. We still have no idea where she got her natural curls from at the bottom.

Sadie with Gwama Zeen (Grandma Jolene) at Grandma's house. "Arise and walk, be healed"

Sadie Baby

2009-04-29T07:52:00.004-06:00

Here is a collection of the latest Sadie pictures taken over the last few months...

Tackling the slide at South Towne Mall with Aunt Jen ("Den") coaxing her down, with cousin Jonah (side) and strange girl (behind) egging her on from other angles...yes she did eventually slide down on her own

Riding the Merry Go Round at South Towne Mall and enjoying it! That is significant because the other times we tried to take her on a Merry Go Round, she did not like it at all.

Sadie ready to road trip! She is multi tasking by driving a car, taking care of Mr. Purple Bear (Mom's favorite color), eating snacks, playing Disney princess dress up, and modeling Daddy's first ever attempt at Pony Tails...history in the making

Sadie and cousin Brinley (a.k.a. "The Baby") playing Disney Princess dress up together. That is licorice rope on their faces, hands, and everywhere else if you're wondering...the perfect evening gown accessory

Sadie jumping on the bed at our hotel stay in Weiser with a balloon that the nice lady gave her at the local pizza joint. At one point she lost the balloon and as it flew up to the ceiling, she implored "Wait boon!"...then later let the balloon go on purpose and waved "buhbye boon"

She is talking more than ever now and I'm continually astounded by her ability to understand what I tell her and to repeat it back to me. It makes me wonder if we shouldn't get her in to preschool soon so we don't waste her gifts. Seeing as how I've been in school for life, however, I wouldn't wish that on her just yet so we'll give her some more time to be a kid. She knows words like "airplane", "birdie", "shoe", "backpack", "bonk", "doggies", "seat", "sockies", "pants", her family's names "papa", "gwama", "den (Jen)", "dackie (Jackie)", and "donah (Jonah)", and quality ones from Mom and Dad like "be quiet", "stupid", and the worst of all "barney".

Daddy loves his baby dearly and misses her more than he can say.

----------------
Now playing: Bread - Everything I Own
via FoxyTunes

Who quotes Chris Farley?

2009-04-29T05:50:00.003-06:00

I wish I could say that life is now great, grand, and wonderful (to quote Chris Farley) four months later, but in fact it is not. There are signs of hope, but unfortunately none of the signs have beckoned me forward yet.

I've had a number of job leads come down the pike but they either want to pay me well below what my experience and education is worth or they just plain don't call me back. I keep figuring one of them eventually will work out and I'm trying to hold out for a better job, but unemployment only lasts for so long. I got an extension on it, but that amount still doesn't compare to what I was making previously. I'd settle for "in the neighborhood" salary wise even if that meant a pay cut, but even that is hard to come by right now. The better jobs are being taken by the engineering level administrative types who are overqualified but taking the jobs because they're better than nothing. That leaves me to rummage through the bottom feeder garbage that I'm also overqualified for. Let's hope that the Messiah fixes this economy or you all will be paying me to sit on my ass at home and write blogs at 6 in the morning for the foreseeable future. Before you get upset, just remember that YOU voted for Obama. That is what you get.

Dating has certainly been an adventure thus far, but as with everything else, has not come close to fruition yet. I'm sure my experiences thus far are similar to what most people go through...you don't like the people that like you and the people you do like, don't like you. I've had more of the former, but it really doesn't matter either way until someone feasible comes along. It only takes one, but why the hell is one so hard to find in a sea of millions? I haven't tried all the singles web sites yet, but the ones I have tried so far have not been great, which is saying it kindly. It seemed like I had much better luck the first time I tried online dating (before I got married) and now there are more options, yet "less" to choose from. I think I'm gonna start jeremyssingle.com and see where that goes. At least it will be free :)

I got my Associates last December from SLCC in General Studies (the most useful degree they offer) and went back there one last time to save $ before I'll be at the U in the summer majoring in Mass Communication. I have now officially attended every school in the valley except Westminster (was accepted there) and UVU (considering going there when I lived in Utah County). I've also previously been accepted at Hofstra, Michigan, Snow, and Boise State. Me indecisive? If it wasn't for the 30 in house credit rule at most universities/colleges, I'd try every school in Utah to see if I could get them all. 10 bucks says someone's done it and still got a degree. 10 bucks also says they didn't learn a thing. Any takers?

My one glimmer of hope is that it looks like I'll be able to land my own place with a roommate here pretty soon. It will be affordable and I should be ok until I can get a decent job. My sister and brother in law have been more than gracious in allowing me to stay with them temporarily but I feel like I shouldn't burden them with my overabundance of abnormal bodily functions any longer than necessary. I'm sure they will quarantine my room after I'm gone and pray daily that they weren't all exposed to swine flu. My new roommate (my good friend Jill), on the other hand, won't be quite so lucky.

I've recently discovered the magic of free library cards and have been renting almost every DVD and TV series on DVD I could get my hands on. If you haven't discovered this same magic yet, I highly recommend that you do so. It is worth your time when you consider that it's free, you get them for a week, can check out like 30 at a time, you can take them back to any library, and if a week isn't enough, you can renew for another week with the click of a button on the web. The only downside is trying to track down what you want sometimes, but if you utilize all the libraries and not just the nearest one to you, you should be able to find anything when you want it almost. You can search online to see which library has what and even put holds on what you want, receiving an email or call when your library of choice (or any library) receives it. Unfortunately, due to the fact that these are public copies, some boneheads occasionally use them as coasters or frisbees and they get a little scratched. For the most they're ok though and you can usually forward through the 1 or 2 minutes of scratchiness (is that a word?). And no they're not paying me to "plug" their product. Check it out http://www.slcolibrary.org/. I'm in the process of watching the first couple of seasons of X-Files and Heroes now (yes I'm a dork). Anyone want to come watch with me?

'Tis the season to be Sadie

2008-12-27T14:11:00.015-07:00

Sadie brought in quite a haul for Christmas this year. Yes, that is one of the advantages of having parents who are divorced...you get presents from two sets of families! Woo hoo! Unfortunately for her, since her B-Day is about three weeks after Christmas, she probably won't get much for her B-Day (not that she knows the difference right now). Either way though, Santa was very generous no matter how you look at it :)

She loved most of her gifts as you can see in the pictures, but it was getting her to unwrap them that was the challenge. Most of the time she was wondering off to play under my sister's table or entertaining herself with various present accessories such as bows, ribbons, etc.

Doggies (or "puppies" as she calls them) are also her favorite things. She's holding a baby one in the picture directly above and got a Mommy one to match it from Grandma Jones (Zine!) She knows all of our dogs by name now, Molly ("Mowy"), Sandy ("Nandy"), Milo ("Miyo"), and Maggie ("Maee"). Grandma figured that if we got Sadie "puppies" of her own, that maybe the actual dogs could get some relief from her chasing them :)

Just like her Mom when she was little (and many other children I'm sure), Sadie loves babies. She now has three different ones that she plays with, puts to "sleep" and feeds her "sippy" to. She calls her cousin Brinley, "The baby", even though she's only about six months younger than Sadie :)

I'm grateful that I could be with my baby and my family during the holidays. That's the only real present I need, although the digital camera I got to take pictures of my loves ones was pretty sweet too ;)

----------------
Now playing: Lifehouse - I Want You To Know
via FoxyTunes

2008 just keeps getting better

2008-12-22T16:22:00.003-07:00

Wouldn't you know it, the exact day I make an offer on a condo, I find out that I'm getting laid off! I've been having flashbacks to the day I got back from my honeymoon and got laid off then too. I pretty much have the worst timing in the world. If you know of any openings for an IT/Desktop person, I would greatly appreciate any information you could pass along. I'm here until the end of the year which basically boils down to three more days since I'm taking the Friday, Monday, and Tuesday after Christmas off, then coming back New Years Eve for my last day. 2008 will officially go down as one of the worst years in our family's history and my individual life as well. Just about everything that could have gone wrong has. The year can't end fast enough.

I was hoping to stick around at Franklin Templeton longer as I was just starting feel comfortable in the position and to get to know the people. I knew it would be a contracted position when I took it, but was hoping that the contract would last much longer than it did. Frankly, considering the fuss that my boss made when hiring me about me being "committed" and seeing "the advantages that a contract position can provide", I would have expected it to last quite a bit longer, but I now realize that that BS was just the beginning of a steady stream from her and from Franklin Templeton (my contracting company Milestone Technologies has been great). I feel really bad for the remaining customers in this building, who have to get a new IT person every 5 months and are the victims of the IT departments ridiculous processes, procedures, and management blunders. If it wasn't for those people, this job and all the nonsense associated with it would have been unbearable. I now fully understand why there was 5 people in 10 months in this job prior to my arrival.

----------------
Now playing: Live - Run Away
via FoxyTunes

Stuck in a rut

2008-12-05T21:07:00.003-07:00

As the end of school is just about here, I'm unfortunately still no closer to getting to Boise than I was at the start of the semester. My goal was to be there by the start of Spring Semester '09 at BSU (starts Jan 20), but right now there are no serious job prospects on the horizon. At this point, I'm really questioning whether I truly want to move there or not. There's no question that I want to be closer to my baby and it would be awesome to see her every week. Every time I have to give her back at the end of the visit, it seriously breaks my heart. To go from seeing her every day just recently to a short visit every couple of weeks is really a difficult adjustment for me. The prospect of missing parts of her life and not being able to see her grow up is almost unbearable sometimes.

On the flip side, Utah has always been my home. I'm sure if I gave it enough time, I could grow to enjoy Idaho. I don't think it will ever feel like home though. I only have one family member there who I'm not really close with and a couple of good friends. All the rest of my family is here, including my immediate family that I'm closest with, and most of my friends as well. If I move to Idaho, it's likely that most of the people I'm closest to won't get to see my daughter much at all. Also, if I move to Idaho and eventually marry another woman from there, that will practically ensure that I have to stay there, especially if we have more children. If I happened to get another divorce, that would be even more children in Idaho keeping me there. If I'm being honest, no offense to Idaho residents, but I can't say I'm thrilled about my children growing up in Idaho. From what I've heard from people who've gone to school there, the public school system is behind what it is in Utah. Plus, every time I visit there, I feel like I've gone back in time about 30 years. I just don't really want to make a life there.

Perhaps the biggest problem I'm seeing especially right now is that the job market for IT people like me is less than ideal in Idaho. There's plenty of jobs, but they're all entry level, $10 an hour jobs that one just can't live on, especially trying to support a family. The best salary I've seen for a desktop support person over the last three months is approaching $19 an hour, which is good, but not good enough and not what I could get and am getting in Utah. With HP and Micron recently laying off a ton of people, I don't see a saturated market getting any better in the Boise area any time soon. Most likely, in order to get to Boise, I'd have to "settle" for an under paying job that would barely keep me afloat after the child support, alimony, etc. bills. That doesn't factor in the cost of any new spouse and/or children that could also enter the equation. Chances are, in this economy, any relocation assistance would not available, so I'd have to pay for a move too. Financially, at least for the time being, it just doesn't seem feasible.

So what does all this mean? I wish I could say for sure. I'm really torn between my loyalty to my daughter and the reality of the overall situation. Right now I'm leaning towards staying here, even though I've already paid for admission and to transfer records to BSU. I haven't fully decided yet though, this is just what's been on my mind pretty much daily lately. This is the one of the unfortunate results of divorce and I hoped that I'd never have to deal with this. I don't wish this on anyone.

----------------
Now playing: Switchfoot - Let That Be Enough
via FoxyTunes

The rise after the fall

2008-11-02T12:09:00.004-07:00

So I decided to resurrect the previously short lived "Keeping up with the Joneses" blog. I deleted the previous one due to the impending break up of my family, which as you may or may not know was finalized at the end of September on our exact six year anniversary date. I decided that even though I lost a spouse, I still a have a "Jones Family" consisting of me and my baby, and hopefully someday I'll find another spouse, so therefore a blog tracking my current type of family was still warranted.

I'm taking a marriage and family class at SLCC right now (ironically) and after reading about the prevalence of various types of families in today's world, I felt like the non-traditional or non-nuclear family (which our book says is pretty much any family that doesn't have the original Mom and Dad) doesn't receive nearly the recognition and support that they deserve. Some perceive this type of family as what an Our Lady Peace song calls "the new enemy" or at least morally wrong, which I find reprehensible to say the least. It's funny how divorce can change your perspective on these things :)

So even though I'm hoping to find a spouse eventually and make a return to the more traditional form of family, I wanted to bring this blog back as a form of dedication to single parents and non-traditional families out there. I've witnessed firsthand the devastation of divorce and the shattered lives it leaves behind and in a spirit of love and compassion, my heart goes out to them.

----------------
Now playing: Lifehouse - Simon
via FoxyTunes